While doing a stomach massage with one of my patients today, I reached an area that was hard, uncomfortable for her and most likely related to her endometriosis.  I decided to stay with it for a minute and suddenly I felt that the area was overcome with gratefulness.  I felt like her body was saying “Thank You!  Finally someone is paying attention to me!! I’ve been trying to get attention for so long!”  Usually, while doing a massage, the feelings that come to me are more those of fear or anger.  This feeling I had today of gratefulness was so strong that I decided to keep thinking about it.

In Christiane Northrups book (Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom) she talks a lot about how our bodies send us signs and signals.  I thought about this process as a being a bit juvenile - in the sense that children do the same thing.  Children have a tendency to do anything to get attention - positive attention, negative attention… it doesn’t matter, as long as they get it.  Maybe this is the same function as our bodies.  Our bodies may want to tell us something and they say it nicely, lightly and repeat and repeat.  When we spend enough time not listening, they start to say it a bit louder and this keeps happening until our bodies are screaming at us.  Unfortunately in today’s world, we learn to take this ’screaming’ and try to find what’s wrong with it instead of, for instance, what’s right with it.  We take it out, cover it up, silence it with drugs but what we don’t do… the easiest thing to do.. is pay attention to it.  Send it love.  The same kind a child needs from it’s mother.  Your body is screaming… are you listening?

inner

receptive

accepting

open

fluid

soft

dark

welcoming

passive

being

When undergoing fertility treatments, we are in a state of yang: going foward, pushing, action, fast, givng etc. but what actually helps our bodies to prepare for pregnancy is a state of yin, a state that encourages the attributes listed above.  In order to protect that yin state, during fertility treatments or even naturally ttc, you must find quiet time, time for you.  There are many available methods to help you through this:

Yin (or restorative) yoga

Acupuncture

Herbal remedies

Meditation

Diet

Visualization

I know that the amount of options can be overwhelming and you might ask: well, do I do them ALL?  How do I know which is best for me?  and the answers sound like this:  No, you don’t do them all and You’ll know what is right for you at any moment based on your reaction to thinking about doing it.  If you automatically dislike one of the above ideas, it’s not for you (right now, anyway - I have noticed over the years that people need to cycle through these things sometimes and then settle on what works best).  If you automatically feel drawn to one or two of the above ideas, do that.  It’s that simple 

There’s a lot of talk about holistic health these days and we quite often hear about the concept of body/mind/soul health, but what does that really mean?

In order to explain it, we must separate these three things into individual categories which automatically goes against the concept of ‘holistic’ health.  In western society, we are taught linear thinking which helps us to get through math class, choose the most correct answer on a multiple choice test and memorize the quickest route between our houses and the quickest dunkin donuts.  In the world of chinese medical theory, almost everything in a circle, heck, the whole medicine itself is based on a circle:

The tai chi is meant to represent constant interflow of yin and yang.  When this picture is contemplated in eastern thought, it is always seen as dynamic, moving.  The learning process - changing the brain from linear to circular thinking - can be a painful one so my question is this:  Can we use our familiar linear thinking to grasp the basic understanding of each the mind, body and soul and then allow ourselves to at least imagine that these three things are always in motion, always interacting?

I hope so

When discussing the health of the mind, our first instinct should be to look into the words we use, the thoughts we have that replay themselves often, the dreams we have.  Intelligence does not necessarily have anything to do with a healthy mind.  Also, in this category, we start thinking about the world of emotions and the balance, or lack thereof, within.  Another area of interest that relates to repeating thoughts is the area of habits.  What things, positive or negative, do we do seemingly automatically?  What is our first emotional response to a stressful situation?  What about mental?

Body health is a bit easier to discuss - what ailments do you have? what ailments do you have that you accept as part of your normal functioning (i.e., constipation, headaches, bloating, back pain, painful periods, etc.)?  The second part of bodily health is emotional.  While we deal with logical emotion in the area of the mind, we deal with the intuitive emotional self in the body.  Where do you store stress?  What do you feel in your gut when you are in a difficult situation?

The health of the soul is something that is rarely explained even though most of modern holistic medicine claims to work also on this level.  I can only explain what it means to me.  I believe that our souls are our connections to ourselves and the people around us.  I also believe that our souls are involved in our sense of purpose in life, or our personal mission.  When examining the health of the soul, ask yourself questions such as:  do I feel connected to myself?  do I act accordingly?  What kind of relationships do I have?  What kind of emotions / situations prevent me from having full relationships with others?  What kind of relationship do I have with my partner/mother/father/sibling/etc.?

The word curiosity has come up a lot lately and I’m curious about it.  Poeple usually feel that they already have all the answers - they are aware of their situations and understand how it all works together.  They enjoy the pieces of their lives that they enjoy and the rest is justified or rationalized through very smart, very thorough evaluations of surroundings.  If someone doesn’t want a way out, they will be able to come up with excuses until they wear you out and you give in.  It’s the ‘but’ syndrome. 

Friend 1 - I really hate this job.  Going there every day makes me want to pull my hair out.

Friend 2 - Wow.  That sucks.  If you hate it, why doing you try to do something to change it?

(1) - The market for jobs is terrible and I have rent and a car payment to make.

(2) - Chances are that you’ll keep your job until you find a new one..

(1)  - Yeah, but, I don’t know how long that will take

(2) - You’ll never know until you try

(1) - I know, but, it’s so hard to get an interview

(2) - have you tried?

(1) - No, but I mean, I know what the market looks like and it’s nearly impossible

now, this could keep going and going and going and going.  Friend 1 isn’t even alloting herself the freedom of a daydream.  The job sucks.  She’s stuck there.  And that’s that.  If you find yourself being Friend 1 - ask yourself:  What here are the facts? and what are beliefs?  Do I know what I want?  Is there a way to improve my current situation without changing jobs (or insert your issue here).  Look upon your life as a curious observer.  What do you see? 

 

Get Curious.  It Rocks.

 

~Caity

I’m learning too.  Slow is my latest lesson.  I recently completed a yoga teacher training and one of the elements about it that stuck with me most is that yoga is a series of controlled, slow movements.  I grew up as a gymnast and am accustomed to sharp, quick movements that oftentimes end up throwing me off balance.  I love the grace and beauty of gymnastics and yoga but I am at a place in my life where the movements of yoga suit me better.  I’m not trying to get from A to B all that fast but I would like the transition to be pretty, thoughtful and performed with intention.  While practicing gymnastics, I sometimes felt that I just had to throw myself, close my eyes and hold on tight for the ride… all the while hoping that I would end up in my desired place (which sometimes was on a 4 inch wide beam!).  With yoga, I (try to) feel each section of the movement, each breath.  I notice if I am slightly off track and when I do, I have decisions to make.  I can either shift back a little and try again or I can close my eyes, bustle through it and hope for the best.  This is just like life to me.  Am I hurdling through life with my eyes closed, hoping for a good result?  Or am I carefully stepping forward, allowing myself the time to a) make and fix mistakes b) purposefully choose my general direction c) experience exactly what it is that I am going through, at the current moment.

I feel that a lot of my life has been hurdled.  I’ve always been the (perfectionist) type who cares less about the journey and more about the goal.  I don’t want to DO things, I want to BE FINISHED with things.  When I started acupuncture school, I wanted to just BE an acupuncturist, I didn’t want to think about the process that was about to unfold in order to allow me to BECOME one.

It’s time to slow down.  I want the process.  I want to feel what is happening.  I want to be aware of my surroundings as I move forward.  I want to move beautifully as a yogini, my easiest poses and most difficult alike.  No more hurdling.  More breathing.  More noticing.  and thus, magically, the feeling of more time.

One of the mysteries of life, as you know,
is how to take action to heal your soul.
These growing pains are what you endure,
until you discover a miraculous cure.

From your past lives you may bring along clutter,
some you can handle, while others you shudder.
And to heal your soul, it may take a lifetime,
but once you succeed, oh you will shine!

You must be determined to reach this goal,
totally focused about healing your soul.
You must be willing to release and let go,
flaws or weak points and to go with the flow.

And to journey within to your inner self,
to let spirit guide you, to be your help.
For your inner knowing is that quiet voice,
that gives you options to make the right choice.

When you heal your soul, you will feel such joy,
it’s much like a child with a brand new toy.
Each day feels fresh with the sun shining bright,
so by healing your soul you will soar to new heights.

Everything will tinkle like music to your ears,
strength you will gain to build confidence without fear.
You’ll blossom with radiance continuing to grow,
when laughter and serenity will be yours to know.

~Margaret Jang

This poem was written by Margaret Jang, who has been channelling inspirational guidance/teachings from Spirit, in poetry format since 2002. Margaret is a healing facilitator for Reiki & gemstone therapy and is also an instructor offering courses and workshops for Reiki, gemstone healing & psychic/soul development. She resides in Vancouver, BC and may be contacted at www.onesourcelearn.com .

After getting the message this week that I may be writing a book with Ewa, I started thinking about what I would like to include in our information.  Saraswati Tiberi’s statements about thoughts being seeds that create our future health or state of dis-ease are something that I know I would like to include.  The fact that we have more control over our bodies than previously thought, the fact that we CAN change our cellular makeup through positive thoughts is something that I see daily.  It is obvious to me in day to day life.  Acupuncture is a fantastic medium for this.  But I started thinking about how to show this to people, to make other people understand that this is true, that this happens.  Then, I flashed back to the movie “What the Bleep Do We Know” and Masaru Emoto’s experiments with water molecules.

see:  Hidden Messages in Water

So, the message for today is:  send yourself love.  Send yourself kind messages.  Our bodies are 60% - 70% water.  Think about the healing that could take place if we can change 60% - 70% of our bodies just by thought…. do we not think that the other 30% - 40% would change also?  In addition, if we have the ability to change water molecules, chances are that we have the ability to change all molecules.  So now, we have the ability to affect EVERY SINGLE CELL in our bodies by sending simple messages of: love, graditude, compassion, kindness, etc.

A good idea might be to do yesterday’s meditation and imagine your left hand receiving love and compassion with your breath and your right hand giving it out to everyone / thing around you.  Let love and compassion flow through you at all times.

It just makes for beautiful water.

xo

Caity

Change is the fuel of life.  Without change, we have nothing.  We are changing, physically, constantly.  Our state of mind is in a constant state of change.  Change makes us possible.  Today, I am pouring over the idea of whether change should be in some cases forced or whether change itself dictacts when it is time.  Many of my patients feel that the only change that is available to them in this life is pregnancy.  They live in a constant state of anguish, waiting for the next test result, the next appointment, the next transfer.  It is a common belief that the ONLY thing that has the ability to create a change in this state is a child.

What I have been noticing lately is that once woman make the decision to move forward with IVF, they attack it like the biggest exam or interview of their lives.  They study the material, they are prepared to ask and be asked, they chart their cycles, they know when their breast size has changed by a 1/2 centimeter.  Within this process, the common acceptable state is despair.  I am TRYING and TRYING and TRYING… why isn’t it working???   Then, while reading forums and planning for another transfer and finding themselves distancing themselves from their husbands - they identify with this place of despair.  This is a place of comfort.  It is almost easy to be here.  There are so many woman like them.  Despair becomes an identity that people don’t want to shake off.  Sometimes people choose this path because they feel that they should be heartbroken when transfers are unsuccessful because that ensures that they are people who TRUELY want a child.

The question remains then:  Can you ride the ups and downs of “cycling” without the despair?  I would never dare to suggest that a patient be happy after an unsuccessful transfer.  In fact, I promote the opposite.  Curl up at home and LET IT OUT.  Talking with my partner last night, we revisited the idea of enlarging our emotional states (the ones we are trying to avoid) until they are SO SO LARGE that our perspective on them changes.  Sometimes, they shrink.  Sometimes, they become funny.  So, is the solution to take this despair by the proverbial horns and make it so so so so so so so big so that we can get a grip again?

I think this could be a piece of the puzzle for some people.  Probably not the only piece, but one of them.  So, after spending all this time turning this over in my head (I couldn’t fall asleep last night) I came accross this quote while reading “The Rabbi’s Daugher” by Reva Mann

Without the amelioration of mind-and-mood alterning substances, I had nothing to Band-Aid my hurting, and for the first time in my life, I allowed myself to feel the existential pain I had always run away from.  Every time the pain erupted, instead of reaching for a joint, a glass of wine, or loveless sex [my addition: or friendly, welcoming despair], I put up with the dis-ease.  It was hell.  But I was surprised to discover that hell is not an infinite suffering, simply a transient anguish that has to be waited out.

For Reva Mann, the change had to come.  She forced it through many ways throughout her life, but the change came when her life was ready.

Be available for change.  Not just babies (but babies too!).  The wonder of day to day life.  Be receptive.  Allow yourself to receive.

Try this meditation:

Sit comfortably with your feet firmly planted on the ground.  With your hands rested in your lap, place your left hand palm up and your right hand palm down.  Close your eyes and breathe in.  When you breathe in, imagine the breath entering through the center of your palm, traveling up your arm.  The breath then relaxes the muscles of the neck and travels up into the head.  At this point, breathe out.  Allow the breath to travel down, relaxing the muscles of the neck then shoulder.  The breath continues through the arm and is released through the center of the palm on the right hand.

This puts you in a place of reception by focusing on receiving on your Yin (left) side and giving with your Yang (right) side.  Yin is soft and receiving, Yang is hard and giving.

Create this receptive state whenever you feel that you need something and allow that thing to come to you in this way.  Give it a try. 

Today, after an amazing day at the office followed by a great “Treasure Hunt” meeting with Ewa and our newest group I started thinking more about what it means to be good to yourself.  Ewa mentioned something during the meeting that caught my ear about having a goal to be her own best friend.

Wow.

What a concept!  This is something that I have heard Ewa say before, it just never hit me as hard as it did today.  We (women) spend a lot of time focusing on those inner voices that sometimes seem to take over everything that we do.  We repeat all sorts of thoughts that have been formed into beliefs like:

I am not good enough

This is hopeless

I’ll never make it

It won’t work

I can’t do that

Would your best friend say things like this to you?

Would you say things like this to your best friend?  “Yeah, bestie, you’re right - you are a hopeless case, it won’t ever work out, you should probably give up and then kick yourself for it for the next 40 years”.  NO WAY!  For your best friend, you offer a few things:

An open ear - You listen to her concerns

An open heart -  You have empathy for her problems

An open shoulder - It’s always ok for her to cry

Are you willing to offer yourself those same things?  Can you list out or discuss with yourself the concerns you may have about a decision you need to make or a step you need to take?  When you do this, can you accept concerns for what they are and not judge yourself for having them?  Can you allow yourself to feel your own emotions?  To let them grow so large, until they begin to shrink on their own?  Will you give yourself to permission to cry as you see fit?  In happy moments and in sad?

I think this is a beautiful goal for anyone to have.

My Goal is to be MY OWN BEST FRIEND.

xoxo